In God's word, I find it interesting that on several ocassions when scripture is addressing gossip it references fire. When my teenage daughter comes home and there is drama stirring among her friends, I always remind her if she will quit speaking of it - it will die down (somewhat like a fire that isn't being stoked). Proverbs 26:20 "Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down." Gossip also some what like a fire, means someone is going to get burned. It is never easy to be a victim of gossip. Proverbs 18:8 "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;they go down to the inmost parts." Unfortunately, there is always going to be some people in our paths who seem to stir up strife and the weapon they typically use is gossip. Heaven help us to not be one of those people. Proverbs 16:27-28 "A scoundrel plots evil, and on their lips it is like a scorching fire. A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." Proverbs 26:21 "As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife."
I think we would all be in agreement the most painful gossip is when someone has broken our trust. However, how many of us have been in a circle of friends and wanted to participate in an "innocent" conversation and then we did it. We opened our mouths and before you know it, we said something we knew we should have kept to ourselves. As I read over Proverbs 20:19 "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much," I had to take a close look at myself and ask the question, "Do I betray others with my words?" After this blog, I might just lose all my friends from my admission. However, if you know me, you know I can definitely talk too much. I share this just to give us discernment. If we are big talkers, we must guard what we say very closely . The quiet types are probably more protected. A closed mouth is a safe mouth. Don't get upset big talkers, we can still be talkers and keep secrets - but we have to be extremely trustworthy and cautious. Proverbs 11:13 "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret." A woman of understanding keeps silent. She who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but she who is trustworthy conceals a matter. (The talebearer reveals secrets, not lies; the trustworthy person conceals the matter.) If someone shares something with you in trust, keep it there. My friend and I use to refer to these matters as being in the "trust tree". That meant you couldn't tell anyone else and we didn't.
Gossip is addressed throughout God's word. I can't even begin to mention all the scriptures that warn us against this. In addition, to the scripture references above, I also wanted to mention several from the New Testament. In Matthew 15:19, "For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander." A person that slanders is one who talks about others. It is mentioned again in 2 Corinthians 12:20 when Paul is writing to the church in Corinth. "For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder." Take notice, Paul is writing this to the church. Romans 1:29-30 also speaks about "gossips". Gossips are those who speak of things that aren't suppose to be mentioned. Talking when we shouldn't be.
If we catch ourselves falling into gossip – we must stop. If we don’t pass on the gossip there is nowhere for it to go. If we want to avoid gossip, we need to focus on creating helpful and encouraging statements. Let the gossip stop with us! Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
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